Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Treasures

          It is such a joy to finally be home with our sweet Hayden!  It seems like it took so long.  I think back to meeting him 3 ½ years ago, and now he is HOME! He will forever be a Bohlinger! My heart is so full it feels about to burst!  GOD IS SO VERY FAITHFUL!!!

          In preparation for this Christmas, I have been spending time reading the accounts of the birth of Jesus in Matthew and Luke and trying to wrap my brain around all that brought the Son of God to Earth that glorious night. My heart continues to be drawn to Luke 2:19 “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I can only imagine all the people, moments, and God encounters that Mary treasured and pondered in her heart as she looked into the face of her sweet baby, the Savior of the World; each moment and person confirming for her the destiny that the angel of the Lord had set before her.  It was not an easy destiny.  It was one that caused people to talk and look unfavorably at her at times, I am sure.  But she was willing to give all of herself to her Lord and walk out the calling He had placed on her life.  And God, in His great love and faithfulness, continued to remind her that He had chosen her for this assignment, that He saw her, and that He would bless her because she had said yes to His calling on her life.
          I began to realize that I too, had been treasuring and pondering all the people, moments, and encounters with God that brought our Hayden home to our arms.  It has not been an easy journey, but God has graciously given me treasures to ponder that have carried me through the difficult moments. These treasures have made my heart so full!  They are God’s fingerprints on my life and evidence that He has written this story perfectly.  Every detail is crafted by him with purpose, love, and destiny as its driving forces.  This overwhelms me with love for my precious Heavenly Father!  My heart gives glory and honor to Him alone for the beautiful story He has written.  Here are just a few of those treasures.
          One of the first treasures of this story is our precious friends Mark and Buffi Young and their beautiful family.  Without them I would have never met Hayden.  It was when I traveled to China with them and their children to adopt their youngest son that I met Hayden for the first time, and God touched my heart with a maternal love for him.  They have been a constant support and encouragement to Frank and I and our family as we have now walked out the adoption journey twice.  They are truly friends who stick closer than a brother.  I can’t begin to express how much we love them and how much they mean to us!
          Then there is Doug and Janice and their beautiful daughter Sarah.  I met them the first time 3 ½ years ago on that trip to China.  I knew as soon as I met them that they were so special and would be a part of my life forever.  I so admired them for leaving the western world behind to minister to orphans in China with severe medical special needs.  They are truly moved by the love of God and willing to do anything He calls them to do.  Three and a half years ago I did not know that they and their staff would lovingly care for our son until God in his perfect timing would bring him home.  I am so very thankful for these treasures!  We had time to get to know them more while we were in China this time, and they will forever be a part of our family.  We love them so much.
          Another treasure is our amazing church family. I love them all more that words can express!  I am so thankful that God has placed our family in a church family of such amazing, godly people.  They continuously lifted us up in prayer as we fought our way through paperwork and adoption expenses to bring Hayden home.  They have encouraged and supported us every step of the way.  They stocked our fridge and freezer and tummies with wonderful meals when we arrived home so we could focus on helping Hayden adjust and find our new normal with our family.
          The amazing people that Frank works with are also treasures.  They have given us so much encouragement and support through this process.  They bought a ton of gourmet caramel apples that we made as a fundraiser to bring Hayden home, sent a huge goody basket to us when we arrived home, and have prayed for us and loved Hayden from the beginning. 
          Our family, oh, how we love them!  They have loved and prayed for us and Hayden every step of the way.  They have held us up in their hearts as we walked through every challenge and delay.  They have celebrated every step closer to bringing our sweet boy home, and have loved him as their own from the moment they knew he would one day officially be a Bohlinger.
          As we walked out this difficult journey, God has been so faithful to provide us with people and moments to treasure, all confirming that Hayden is destined for our family.  In the next few paragraphs, I am going to be very transparent. What I am about to write hurts my heart and makes me cry, but even in the midst of all the hurt, God gave me treasures to reassure me that I was on the path He set me.  Often, the right path, the path of destiny, is not the easy or comfortable one.  It hurts to be stretched beyond what we thought we were capable of.    
It is hard adopting.  It is hard adopting a child with special needs.  It is hard to take that call of destiny from God without feeling heaviness.  For me, it is so far beyond the “comfort zone”.  When God called us to this destiny, I could not help but wonder “God, what are You doing?  What is your plan?”  Honestly, I have moments every day where I still wonder, but I am seeing His perfect plan unfold, and it is all HIM!  It is so far beyond me, and it is so beautiful!
This trip to China was heavy and hard to walk through.  You do not see people or children with obvious special needs in China.  They are there, but they are hidden away so as not to burden society with their presence.  Very little is handicap accessible there, reminding you that any “abnormality” is a burden.  On adoption day this time, we didn’t get the usual question, “You like baby?”  No, this time we got a look of disdain, and the questions, “Why do you want him? Do you know what is wrong with him?” 
First I just stared in disbelief.  Then I wanted to vomit. I was so angry I trembled and tears welled up in my eyes.  I wanted to scream, “Because God said he is mine and I love him! Because he is sweet and loving and his laugh is contagious! And there is nothing wrong with him; it is you that has something wrong! You are the one who is broken!” I looked desperately into Frank’s eyes.  He knew the momma lion was about to surface.  He gave me the “I will handle this just stay calm” look.  I don’t remember what he said to the adoption official, but it answered the official question and we signed on the dotted line and left with our sweet, frightened son. 
That night as we kissed his sweet face goodnight, he snuggled into his little bed at the end of our bed and fell fast asleep.  Frank and I just listened to his sweet breathing and cried.  How could anyone not see how amazing this little boy is?  How could the world go on without ever hearing him laugh?  How could our lives ever have been complete without him?  What if we had said, “No”?  What if we had looked at this call of destiny from God and said, “No, God, this is more that we can handle.  We aren’t up for this assignment, just give us comfortable”? 
Yes, it is hard.  Yes, there is a long road ahead for him and us, a road full of adjustment, therapy, doctors’ visits, and things we can’t begin to foresee; but what if the road ahead of us was void of the treasures of Hayden’s laugh, smile, hugs, and successes?  Empty comfort would be the road ahead of us without Hayden.  We clung to each other, cried, and prayed, “God, you are so good!  That you would choose us to love and be loved by this amazing little boy is beyond our human comprehension! We can’t imagine what You have planned or what this life and destiny is going to look like, but we know you are in it!  And we want it! We want it all!  The joy, the pain, the triumph, and the heartache, if it is from You, if it is part of Your plan, then we want it all!  Hold us; hold our family; make us look like the picture You have in Your mind, not like the one we had in mind!”
          Oh how the sweet presence of our Heavenly Father wrapped around us enfolding us is His perfect love.  There are no words to describe the feeling of Father’s love and reassurance that He has you in His arms, but I know it is all I want in this life.  If I have nothing else, if my life never is easy or comfortable, if it never looks how I imagined it to look, all I want and need is HIM, HIS PRESENCE, HIS ARMS HOLDING ME AND MY FAMILY, and HIS DESTINY! 
          I gained yet another treasure to ponder that night: an encounter with God, confirming His call and destiny not just for me, but for Frank as well.  I have never loved my sweet husband more than now.  To see him seek the destiny of God even when it is hard, to see him yield and surrender to our Heavenly Father’s will, and to see him let go of everything this world says is easy and best and sink into the love of God so deep that he would hold my hand and walk on water with me because our Lord called us out of the boat of comfortable, makes my heart feel as though it will burst.  Frank is another of the treasures I will forever ponder in my heart.  He is the rock of our family, because he is fully surrendered to our Rock and Savior.  Oh, how I love them both!
          I have no idea what this is all going to look like at the end of my days, but I have a peace that never leaves even in the chaos of every day and in the hard moments that are surely yet to come. I know my Heavenly Father not only holds each moment, but He holds me.  My Lord has called me out of the boat of familiar and comfortable, and I am going to keep walking toward Him.  I can’t wait to see all He is about to do!  I ache to see the picture He is going to paint in the life of our family and wait with great anticipation to read more of the beautiful story He is writing for Hayden and all of us.  And along the way, I will gather the treasures He gives to remind me that I am in line with His perfect plan, and I will ponder them when the path is rough and the sea of life rages. I am in awe of my Heavenly Father! He is so good and faithful!  His great love is beyond my comprehension!   

          

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